Ode to Robin Williams

How can it feel
to leave all behind
in the hope that you will
finally,
get some rest from them all,
away from them all,
and most of all,
away from yourself?
How does it feel like
to have to face yourself
everyday,
in front of a mirror,
to only find a distorted image
that is nothing but you,
the real you they always fail to see?
How does it feel like
to make everybody laugh
when you feel like crying
and when all inside your chest
is fighting hard to resist
to one more day full of shit,
another night filled with pain?
How does it feel like
to make everybody cry
when you know they cannot get it,
that that is the real you they see
and yet, they think you're just
one of the greatest fakers of all?
Did you really think
that this would be the end of all?
I wish you were right...
I wish there was a way
to prove you right...
What a great fear
to find yourself
among the many,
the many of us who couldn't resist
the temptation to cease to be
because the world
was far too strange
for the weak humans
we grew up to be.
There are days I wish
I had the strength
and the weakness
to finally end
this process called life.
I still keep lingering in the doubt
that the pain will never end
regardless of the abrupt stops
in a journey I never wanted to take.
I wish you could tell me what you see...
Now... what is it that you really see???


* In memory of a great man who was much more than just a great actor.